Last 2 weeks in chaos, frustration, and sadness
LOST
sick
No solitude
Only 1 I can reach 2 busy
No comfort

I just love theses 2 songs: Smokey Robinson & the miracles:

CRUISIN'



Ooh Baby Baby

~Contribution 2 the Future~

All In My Hands ( Photo By: Eman Rimawi)

Sorry it's been a while so much has been going on and so much has not been. Right now I've been back at college for about a month and I'm already dying 2 come home. Everytime I wake up for class it's like am I still really here?? Why am I not at home. I miss my friends , my family and just everything that is home for me... I just need something or someone to make me feel at home... I'm hoping one of my friends come to see me or I get 2 see one of them. Talking on the Aiming is not enough. I just really need some NYC time and some home time as well as some me time. Time is going by so quick and I htought I had enough to choose what I want to do in life but I'm not sure. I met this kid like 2wks ago that works at the info desk and he has been to 4 schools and had like 5 majors and I'm like I hope that won't be me but there is a chance I could be come a school major hopper ( Does that even make sense??). It happens to some but I have and idea but it branches off in to 2 many majors. There are so many fields to study but are there spaces to be occupied in the end??? This world is falling in a pit and if we don't move quick enough to get out we will reach the bottom and it's going to be hard to get out of there then. Thousands of people are being laid of and all occupations are downsizing and everything is being filled that's left. There are adults killing their families because they don't want there families to suffer through the struggle. They don't realize that even before all of this, people have been struggling. Even as someone whose life wasn't filled with luxuries I still fear what awaits not sure of how hard we will hit and how much damage will be caused. It's gonna be up to me and everyone that's in my generation now to help rejuvenate the world and the earth to a balance. I just want to make sure I make the right choice for what my contribution will be.

THOUGHTS

I know it has been a while since I have written and I'm sorry..I don't even know if anyone reads this or cares about my though but I do have a couple of followers that I hope acknowledge to read my words.

I always question my thoughts my word cause I grew up feeling and thinking that my words didn't matter and everytime I get into and arguement with my moms that occurs.

Someone has left me and went to the Marines...a friend of mines for High School....I'm gonna miss our talks so much....and I didn't even get to say goodbye really....So I wrote him on aim knowing he would get it when he signed in how I felt.....And I heard he got it but he never wrote back or called...I 'm jus stressing cause I wish he would of wrote back cause he's gonna be gone for a while.

I don't know what else 2 say so I'm done............'til next time.

Are the right ppl being chosen 2 serve and protect?

One of my friend on Facebook posted the link to a video that talked about an incident that occurred on New Years Day in Oakland,California....it's not shocking because incidents such as these have happen many time before...but it just sad when they do happen.Its just so sad because the person was innocent and it's just so wrong.....and you know people are hurting and even people who are not related still hurt as well because the could of been someone they knew or even themselves.

WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW..............It speaks for itself:

I Just Happened 2 Stumble upon ...BEYONCE'S NEW VIDEO!!!!

~HALO AND DIVA~BEYONCE'S NEW VIDEO!!!!!

X-mas Eve,Birthdays, Discovering and No expectation of gifts!!!!

Today I talked to he and found out that he didn't like she. I told him how I felt but to me it didn't matter anymore. I realize there is so much more out there that HE and Simple Boy help me realize that. Friends are great to have and I love my friends they have become a major part of my life...like family.

Now on to the real business.....Today is Christmas Eve and my Grandma's 70th birthday!!!! I spending it with just her and me. I also found out my sister may have the baby sooner than expected!!! My third niece is on the way!!! In 2 wks I will be back @ skool whomp Whomp.

I just want to wish everyone a Happy Holiday!!!! Christmas 2008!!!

The Simple Boy Saved me

I just wanna Shake my head until it falls off. Yell until my voice box shatters or get expired from over usage. Run until I can't breath anymore or lay underwater as if I'm the only one in the world. Right now I just wanna get away. Today I had such a great day until I came home and talk to my friend. I hate this constant repetition of being hurt. I was hurt but I won't tell her that but I know she sort of knows.Happiness can never be constant and if it is you must be located in some other dimension than I. Cause I'm.........................................in a place where there is no shield that can stop you from hurting....a parade always get rained on.

This is how it goes:

"OMG you can't believe this Brooklyn"

I'm like what?

He...he asked me 2 do something 4 him

...(I'm NOT ALLOWED 2 TELL)

....Cause he never had really

If u saw my facial expression

She already know how I feel about he

I noticed him first in the 10th grade

Only I and no one else

And he notices her

He likes her though (WHOMP!WHOMP!)

He wants 2 do w/e it was that he said

But it's not her fault

Am I cursed?

Because this happens everytime

Then The Simple Boy AIMed me and brought a smile to my face....he erased all that was on my mind at the moment(even though I know it will return). I will be sad when he leaves. But he just sidetracked me into another place and now I'm glad. It's just crazy how emotions can switch over as quickly as they do for me. Simple Boy is so sweet and I think he could do so much with his life. But some paths are meant to be taken while others come later on. I just hope everything goes well for him.

SORRY I JUMBLE A LOT JUST HOW I AM...............